Hi, nice to meet YOU?

Ever notice how a formal introduction is literally a pitch of all of your accolades? What should be getting to know someone can generally turn into a professional interview. Even if it's with people we do know and are catching up with. Maybe you haven't seen them for a long time and you're trying to somehow give a quick recap of your lengthy and complicated journey.

It can go a little like...hey, here's all the important stuff I've been doing since you last saw me. I promise I haven't been a complete loser this whole time. Naturally anyone's response would then be to counter it with their own compellation of their life's greatest hits.

Haven't we all been here? Having to pitch the best version of ourselves at events that aren't even considered networking spaces? I'm in no way discouraging the notion of celebrating the accomplishments you have reached in formal or non-formal convos alike, but we often get so identified with those accomplishments and labels that we behave as if they're the most interesting things about us. Is it safe to say that we all know that we are not our jobs or careers? Well, if you hadn't thought about it that way before I'm here to tell you that there's a whole lot more to you than what you do for a paycheck.

There's no doubt that the seed of hustle culture gets planted really early in our lives. It can show up in some really familiar and infamous questions like, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", and being a pixie fairy is only a really cute acceptable answer up until you're about reading age at which point adults will say, "Okay kid, what do you seriously want to be?". Yes, I know hustle culture is a buzzword right now, but when we really look at it for what it is, it's been ever-present in our capitalistic come up. We've been taught to survive, and for so many of us, that means finishing up on top or getting buried at the bottom. There is a difference between being goal oriented and only living to achieve goals. I guess what really screws us up is that society frames for us what should be most important. The more titles and achievements you can attain, the more valuable you are. There's no merit in chasing a goal that doesn't put you somewhere atop a success ladder. So, that's why at the start of most conversations people will ask "So, what do you do?". And let's be honest, if they ask How are you doing they're not exactly waiting on a genuine lengthy response.

So, what prompted me to write this? Well yeah, of course, I had this same scenario presented itself in a recent interaction. And because I've been a complete introvert lately I haven't exactly been in a whole lot of social circles (don't judge, I'm working on it). When I saw the conversation taking the resume route my mind kind of jumped ship. What I hoped for was to make some real genuine connections, so I proceeded to respond with an honest answer and not buy into a rehearsed response. What happened next was such a breath of fresh air. Because I was completely myself it allowed space for both of us to be. We didn't have to discuss what we should be, instead, we discussed what we really hoped for and how our previous dreams maybe hadn't gained the momentum we wanted them to or had taken another route altogether. There's so much beauty in relating to someone about the ebbs and flows of life because we've all had them. The truth is that we're constantly on the road to self-discovery and that's where some of the most fruitful conversations, friendships, and relationships are born out of. So, the next time you meet someone for the first time, or for the first time in a long time, I invite you to reframe your question and maybe ask "What is the most exciting thing you've done or learned recently?".