Stop second guessing. Right?

Okay. Let me just start by saying that I've been horrible about being active on my blog. The truth is I always have a million thoughts running through my head that I think are worth sharing, but then end up overthinking it all. I'll jot down notes of fleeing thoughts, and conversations I literally have with myself, but never get back to them. I end up convincing myself they're only things I find interesting (in part because I also think of myself as a weirdo).

I met with a friend recently and we bounced ideas and experiences off of each other while hysterically laughing in the corner of a small coffee shop here in the Bronx. It's so refreshing to share aspirations with people, who like you, also are working towards a dream. It's also reassuring to know that as much as we may believe in our goals, we all sometimes second guess ourselves. I later realized it's the same thoughts that usually paralyze most of us. I don't know if you all do this, but I keep setting myself up for failure assuming there will be the "perfect timing". In between juggling so many routine tasks, it's sometimes hard to fill in the gaps with other minor goals. I tell myself I should wait to have more time carved out so I can focus better (I just had to eye roll at myself in real-time, for being self-aware yet continuing to do the same thing). Clearly half of the things I usually plan on doing never get done because life doesn't stop happening.

The picture text that intercepted my shower routine

Cut to my homegirl later sending me a photo that resonated with her about our struggle to be our best and true selves. I read the message standing in my kitchen the night she sent it and appreciated the affirmation but continued to do the dishes and wrap up the night as usual. The following night, while I wasted water taking a hot shower and staring blankly at the tiled wall, that same message crept into my head. It's funny how certain thoughts play in the background of your mind and only resurface once everything has simmered. It's like your brain is quietly saying "hey you, chill the fuck out...I have something important to tell you." This time I was listening, and I thought about all the instances that I put things off because I needed more time to focus on it, or convinced myself other tasks took president over it, or my personal favorite...because I wasn't confident it was good enough to begin with and was scared of how it would be received.

I've spent so many years convincing other people to take a leap of faith, yet hadn't fully practiced what I preached. One of my many mantras is "you're always exactly where you're supposed to be", and if I truly believe that I also have to believe that whatever I end up doing (whether it fails or not) will always put me on the correct path. So for one, I'm committing to posting on this blog more often. Even if it means that I convince myself I'm boring you all with my mundane or insane thoughts. This blog is really about connecting, and I can't do that if I'm not my truest self with you. We all have the ability to be a BADASS, we just have to remember that we're always our own worst critics, but should balance that with also being our own best cheerleaders.

I would love to hear from you guys! What goals have you been procrastinating on? Does this message also hit home for you?